


All That We Lost

by FenMelava (missara)



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Sad, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missara/pseuds/FenMelava
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth of who Solas is, is too much for Lavellan to bear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That We Lost

She sat on the cold floor, electricity crackling around her; a warning to others. The energy she once had, had been drained out of her. A vial lay near her body, liquid drops escaping from it.

While she laid there, the poison making her numb, she tried to justify what she had done. She picked up the faint sound of pounding, followed by incoherent swears. She knew what they would say. There was nothing that she could say to make them understand.

She had allowed the Dread Wolf to seduce her, take her virginity, and she fell for it. She fell every step of the way. Then, she let him remove her vallaslin. There wasn’t a word in the elven or human languages for the despair she felt.

She had betrayed everything she ever believed in for someone that wasn’t even real. He was just a lie.

They were a lie.

How could she face her clan again? She would be mocked, shunned from the clan, and she would have nothing. Of course, there was the Inquisition, but they no longer truly needed her. Now that the threat was over, she had nothing left, nowhere to go.

There was no justification for what she had done. She felt stupid. How could she not have noticed? How did she not see the signs?

She clenched her eyes shut, sighing loudly. As her vision went hazy, she heard an alluring hum. It was him. She knew his voice anywhere. Desperate to escape, she shot a voltage of electricity through her body.

“Fuck!” Upon hearing the voice, she opened her eyes and caught sight of a distressed Tevinter and an angry elf. She bit her lip, tasting the coppery blood that dripped down. She heard the vial kick as she closed her eyes once more, hoping to drone them out.

“What did you do, friend?” Dorian begged, kneeling down beside her, one hand gripping her shoulder.

“Dorian,” Sera whispered, handing him the vial. “It’s Crow poison.”  
“How the hell did she get this?” Dorian said, snatching the vial from Sera’s hand. “Sera go grab the surgeon.” Sera stood there, slightly perturbed by the Tevinter barking orders, “Go now!” Dorian shouted, giving Sera a shove towards the stairs.

Realizing the severity of the situation, Sera snapped out of her daydream, and ran from the room, trying to remember where the surgeon was.

“Stay with me Lavellan,” Dorian mumbled, watching as his friend paled, fading from this world. He moved his hand from her shoulder, and intertwined her hand with his. “Don’t leave me here alone,” he pleaded. Out of the periphery of his eye, he noticed a single page. Out of curiosity he picked it up, still gripping her hand tightly and skimmed through it. It was written in old elvhen, a mystery to him but he assumed it had to do with the Well of Sorrows. After all, he had learned from Lavellan that even the Dalish knew only a few words from the elvhen language. He shook his head, returning to his frail friend. The mana had drained from her body, although that hadn’t stopped him prior. His hand was singed from the electricity but he hadn’t bothered to care at the time.

“Dorian,” she said, struggling to keep her head level to his. She smiled lightly at him, returning the grip he held.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked, begging that she stay awake long enough. She shook her head in response, before allowing her head to fall back, eyes closed.

“Dorian, we’re back!” He heard Sera shout frantically, and all he could do was choke out a few words.

“It’s too late.”

“I’ll kill him for this,” Sera mumbled, pivoting and punching the wall.

“I don’t think this was his fault.” Dorian sighed, “We need to tell the others.”

“I’ll take care of the body,” the surgeon said, stepping forward, but Dorian stopped her.

“Don’t treat her as another casualty. She is not.” He said, and once the surgeon nodded, he moved out of her way.

“Sera stay and help the surgeon. It would be best if I did this on my own.” Dorian excused himself, before leaving the room. The notion of having to tell the others let alone the entire Inquisition left him queasy. He was heading towards the tavern when he realized it would be best if he told Leliana first, lest she gather the information from another source.

He entered the rotunda, stopping to pause at the murals Solas had chiseled during his time. He knew that this was not because of him. It was something much bigger than that. As he ascended the stairs, he reassured himself. She was stronger than that, she had to be.

Once he reached the spymaster, he froze on the spot. What would he say?

“How can I help you, Dorian?”

“Lavellan is dead,” he muttered, trying to bite back the tears. This wasn’t a joke or charade that they were doing- this was real. She was really gone.

“I don’t have time for your antics, Dorian.” Leliana said. She thought it was a joke too.

Oh, how he wished it was. “Lavellan is dead.” He said. It was the only thing he could say.

Leliana stopped what she was doing and looked up at the mage. “How?”

“She…drank poison.”

Leliana’s eyes widened and she looked away, out of the window, lost in thought. “I will send a missive to Cassandra.”

Dorian turned towards the stairs, ready to spread the word, regretfully. “Dorian, I am sorry. I know you two were close.”

Dorian looked back at the spymaster. “Yes, we were.” He replied solemnly and descended the stairs.

Although he appreciated Bull’s efforts to soothe him, he found himself alone in Lavellan’s chambers, going over the memorabilia that she had collected. While he was running his hands on the spines of the books on her bookshelf, he heard a slight click. Intrigued, he gently pushed the previous book, and a hatchway opened beside him.

Curious, he followed the ladder down the hatchway and entered a dim lit room, candles flickering on all sides. Dorian walked towards the desk in the middle of the room and began sifting through the stacks of paper. Glancing at the writing, the fears that he had tried to distill over the course of the day came flooding back.

They were all about him. She was trying to discover who he really was. She was hunting him down, and it seemed like Leliana was providing her with the information. He moved on to the drawer below the desk and opened it to a lone journal inside. He sifted to her last entry, dated a month ago.

_The Well of Sorrows gave me the answers I needed. It was all a lie. He was not who he said he was, but of course, it all makes sense now. The Dread Wolf is a trickster, deceitful at best. He preys on those who are weaker than him. He preyed on me, used me. I was nothing but a pawn in his game. And I fell for it all._

He did not know who this Dread Wolf truly was, but from what Lavellan told him, he had known he was not a good character. According to their history, he was responsible for everything. He clenched the journal, before throwing it against the wall.

This was what was eating her away. He hated himself for noticing it, for noticing the dark circles under eyes and how she was always locked away in her room. However little sense it made to him, he realized that she died because of him, and he would avenge her.

He would hunt down Solas and make him suffer if it was the last thing he did. With uncontrollable rage, a fireball flew from his hand, incinerating the papers on the desk. He turned his back as the fire quenched everything in the room, and climbed back up the hatchway. He shut the hatchway, taking a deep breath, listening to the fire die.

After her funeral, he would visit the spymaster.


End file.
